Another Week

Well another week has passed and things are ok. T's moods are not great but what is certainly concerning me is the level of resentment I feel towards him is growing. It's nothing to do with the transition or anything like that but some personality traits are starting to come out that are showing me a side to him that is not very good. He is definitely proving that he really isn't a mature decent human being and I'm seeing that through some of the interactions he is having with the stalkers that have come along. Let me explain, since coming out he has started a new FB page with his female name and as is expected it attracts dozens of weird stalkers. So although he deals with some of them and rejects some, with others he plays a game of leading them on for a while. 

One, I don't see that as decent behaviour and two it's just inappropriate. I guess I should expect some of this behaviour but it is not only nasty but some of it is disrespectful to me along with his secret conversations on Grindr and other places. But as usual I guess he only thinks about himself. He really doesn't care about me at all and can only see what he wants. I suppose he has never been someone who can put others before himself so I probably can't expect that would change. 

The reality of a personality like that is he will never be happy and I would guess there are not a lot of people that would put up with what I have over the years so he's in for some nasty shocks in the future. 

All in all, I am using this to vent but I just have to prepare and concentrate on getting myself into a better position so I can escape. It's just a shame that more than likely I will probably end up hating him and that is not something I want. Unfortunately circumstance has limited my choices. I will just concentrate on what I have to do. It's just about surviving. I'm more than happy to receive advise if you feel you can help but it's ok if you want to just follow the story. 

Stevie

brisbane