Well, the last week has been full of highs and lows. There have been fights which to some degree have again reinforced some of my beliefs. This is the 7th post in this tag and I will still tag everything so you bring up everything however I will stop numbering to make it easier.
I am certainly in a precarious situation. Until I can get myself back into work I have limited options but to tolerate or manage things as they are. In saying that even though there have been some big lows this week there have been some constructive conversations.
One of the things I learned from T this week is that he is finding himself very confused about how to behave now that he is transitioning. I can understand that even though I think he is going about it the wrong way. I can see a lot of his stress is actually caused by the "I want it all now" mentality. He came to his realisation as a light bulb moment about a month ago and naturally he needs to sort himself out. At the same time he is only thinking about himself and doesn't seem to care much about anything else. He admitted that it annoys him when he tells a client and their first reaction is them asking about me. I explained to him that this was in some cases a natural reaction. I think to some degree being that T has always been someone who craves attention he doesn't cope well when he's not the centre of attention, so someone asking about me would annoy him. I am kind of used to that though and it's not a big deal.
I did have an opportunity to suggest to him that if he's going to go through this process he should take this opportunity to get some counselling and make the transition process a chance to become the best person he could be. He seemed open to it but I doubt he'll follow through.
He had his very first appointment with a transition doctor this morning and it seemed to go well. He has to have some blood work and will go back next week. Given everything is ok he will then go onto hormones.
The key for me now is to find a job and prepare to escape because I won't survive here, it's too hard. On top of this I'm going insane not working. The only saving grace is I seem to be getting great insider information on my industry and my level of expertise has grown substantially. Luckily people trust me and share a lot so my connections are stronger then ever. Now just to get paid for it lol. Anyway back to it.