The Personality (4)

I thought before I get into the other big announcement I just want to reflect a little on Our relationship. 

I am in no way perfect and I have struggled with a lot myself over the years. I certainly have some trust issues which is quite surprising to me as they never used to be there. I know that I have been badly hurt, primarily in this relationship and my last one. In both relationships there was infidelity by my partners but the biggest thing is communication. There was little in either. 

I guess this has been the biggest struggle for me because if I was in a relationship where you voiced your opinions and got over things it would be good. I don't mind an argument as long as eventually it is forgotten. However I don't even get this. Usually if there is an issue or disagreement, T will usually run. He won't discuss, say he's not discussing it and then be in a vile mood for at least a couple of days. 

The other thing is that in 7 years I have never heard him apologise for anything. His response is always, "when I said those things I meant them at the time, so I have nothing to be sorry for". I can see that he lacks empathy and responsibility. I'm positive there is some undiagnosed mental health issues but I don't know enough about them to even begin.  There are a lot of similarities to people I met whilst working in mental health such as ODD, BPD or NPD. I'm not an expert and I guess that's just the way he is. 

I realise that he will probably go through life never being able to recognise these traits in himself and to some degree in public has done a great job of masking them. I will always love him but unfortunately it's only a matter of time.