The Spark

I have had some conversations with some younger people about relationships and the one thing that they keep bringing up is the spark. You know, that spark that you feel with someone. Now the more I kept hearing the emphasis that people were putting on this the more concerned I got. 

It wasn't the need for the spark when they meet someone but rather the comments I heard from people talking about how when the spark goes they usually leave the relationship. I found this disturbing. Maybe it's an age thing I don't know but there seems to be a lot of interesting views out there. 

To me the spark is fleeting and part of the lust phase of a relationship. The honeymoon as they say. This is the part of relationship that let's you get to know someone but like anything it will go to some degree over the course of a relationship. I have found that what's important is understanding that this is to some degree temporary and you need to add some depth to your relationship. It's an opportunity for you to get to know someone whilst you develop true love for a person. 

I guess the conversations were concerning because not only was the spark a thing, but there was no real commitment to the reality of relationships. There was constantly this belief that relationships are temporary because I may want to go in a different direction with my life. In fact there was a lot of "I"'s in the conversations. There was little understanding of working on a relationship or compromise or working on a mutual direction.

There seems to be this belief with younger people that everything is about what they want and too bad to everyone else. To be honest I don't understand this level of selfishness and it's certainly not going to lead to good relationships. Sharing your life with someone is more than sex and more than hotness (because that will go for everyone at some point). It's more than what an individual wants and is about building a life with someone that takes into account the things that both people would like as individuals and as a couple. I think one of the biggest dangers to the future is this belief that you need 100 likes on a post or photo to be validated. But that's a different post lol. 

Relationships are about sharing and about realising that the love of an honest, caring person in your life is amazing. Realising that you are someone's No. 1 is important because that is someone who will stick by you when times are tough and not just when things are good or you get what you want. Selflessness is the key to a happy life not selfishness.