As you all know, my partner and I have been going through a difficult time and as you all know this is something everyone will go through at some point. Something I have learned during these times is that when these things happen we are very much alone.
Now I'm someone who generally struggles with talking about difficult times with others but if I do I would like to know that either that person will sit there and listen but not comment or if they do comment, challenge me if you think I'm being crazy or stupid.
What I have learned though is that people are usually in one of two categories. Either they run a mile lol or they will act like they care but only respond with what they think you want to hear. Obviously the best people to talk to is either someone who doesn't know either of us or someone who knows both of us. This way you would think you would get an unbiased opinion. I guess that it's just rare to find wise people out there who actually care about you.
Another scenario that came up recently is I was asked by T's brother what was going on because he had noticed a change. I hesitated but filled him in and even found myself making excuses for T along the way. Let's call him J. Now J actually could see things from both sides but certainly recognised that there was something major going on in T's head and it needed to be sorted. This was a few weeks ago. J said he felt he needed to spend some brother time with T and I hope it happens but so far it hasn't. In that time I just hope things don't get too bad.
I actually believe strongly that T would have come up with the same barriers although he's more likely to go along with whatever is said to him. If he had someone genuinely telling him what they think both good and bad I believe he would have worked with that.
Overall I think we now live in a society where people either are only serving themselves or just want to tell you what you want to hear. I believe although in the event of a problem people will jump to help on an individual basis, I don't see people who are genuinely selfless. Don't misunderstand, I believe they are out there, just that I have failed to find them. I am still hopeful and will see how things go.