Are you selfish? We all are to one degree or another even though we hate to admit it.
Selfishness can cause us to cling to things and to be too demanding of others. It often ruins relationships and complicates our lives.
Overcoming selfishness will lead to a simpler life if we can learn to let go of all the stuff we cling to. It will also help us to get along better with those closest to us in our lives.
A successful life begins with overcoming selfishness
A successful or super-charged life is one full of joy, significance and contentment. It is impossible to experience these things when one is excessively selfish.
Selfishness causes us to focus solely on our wants and desires. We demand our way and miss out on the richness that comes from giving and sharing. This causes our relationships with our spouses, kids and co-workers to suffer immensely.
Self-indulgence often also leads to the over-accumulation of material possessions. We constantly seek happiness and fulfillment in our next new toy. Of course, this is a fruitless pursuit that will quickly leave a person depressed, disillusioned and broke.
A selfish person will often find themselves bankrupt emotionally and financially. This egocentric behavior often leads to divorce, debt and turmoil.
How to overcome selfishness and begin healing your life
It is never too late to beat selfishness and turn your life around. The sooner you start, the sooner you will begin to enjoy a better life.
Here are some suggestions for overcoming selfishness:
1. Admit your selfishness and be honest about it
Selfishness is that detestable vice which no one will forgive in others, and no one is without in himself. ~ Henry Ward Beecher
The first step in recovering from almost any vice is to first admit it to yourself. This can often be one of the hardest steps.
It isn’t easy for us to look ourselves in the mirror and honestly recognize we are grotesquely selfish. Maybe it is self-preservation?
Admitting ugly things about ourselves hurts. We all want to avoid pain. Of course, which is worse, admitting being selfish or continuing to live so?
Conceding the truth about ourselves can be a great relief. It will free you to let go and begin healing. There is no other way to begin the process.
2. Begin to give generously when you least want to
He who lives only to benefit himself confers on the world a benefit when he dies. ~ Tertullian
You have to start killing the monster inside that constantly clamors to get its way. You do this by generously letting others have their way.
When you feel the most resistance to giving in, just do it! Others may want your time, money or your agreement with them. Give it!
As you do this, it will slowly become easier. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to make the right decision in this crucial moments.
A circumstance will soon arise where you feel a strong gravitational pull to insist on getting your way. Don’t fall to it! Instead, see it as an opportunity to conquer your enemy.
3. Be patient with those who have endured your selfishness
That man who lives for self alone, Lives for the meanest mortal known.
~ Joaquin Miller
Even though you have admitted your disease to yourself and started to fight against it, don’t expect everyone else to jump on the bandwagon too soon.
Those around you have endured your selfishness for far too long to immediately believe it is over. In their eyes, you may relapse at any time.
They are going to want to see a long track record of generosity, kindness and thoughtfulness before they are going to fully accept the new you.
Be patient with them. Give them time to see that you are serious and committed to overcoming your selfishness.
4. Keep a journal about overcoming selfishness
The unexamined life is not worth living. ~ Socrates
Document your thoughts and feelings as you progress through this process. Write down your triumphs and failures.
Go back from time-to-time and review what you have written. This will help you to see that you really are changing to be more generous, kind and thoughtful.
It will also hold you accountable if you are not!
Conquering selfishness is a move toward a better life!
Selfishness is a roadblock to a better life. Taking simple steps to defeat it will open up a whole new world for you.
It will simplify and improve your life in ways that you cannot even imagine. Your relationships will grow more rich and loving than they have ever been.
You are a conqueror! Go forth and live life to the fullest!