Toxic or Not?

*Whether it is directly or indirectly we have a multitude of people we deal with on a regular basis. Some are positive and some are not. The one thing that is very clear is that there are people that are worthy of our time and energy and others that just infect us because no matter what we think, the people around us do impact on our lives. Either way it is contagious.

As I have learned, in the end the most important people to focus on are our immediate family because they are the people that if you have neglected or allowed to be influenced by others you will regret. The good are those people who actually support you and your family at all times. These are the people that encourage you, never say anything negative about your immediate family and actually recognise all the good in your family. These are the people that recognise how important your current situation is and ensure they respect that. I have been reading some articles from a psychology journal recently and it stated that you will always be better off with people around you that are in a similar family situation, meaning that if you are in a relationship the people around you are better to be other people in relationships mainly because they find it easier to understand the importance of where you are at. People who are single and act single tend to treat everyone as if they are single and it just adds undue pressure.

Make sure also that the people around you are people that have goals or are a couple of years ahead of you in their goals because it will inspire and motivate you. People who are aimless or are still somewhere in their lives that you were in the past are not going to help and will quite often attempt to drag you backwards. Avoid these people at all costs.

People to avoid at all costs include people who are disrespectful of you or your family or are not inclusive of your family in plans through consideration. These are also people who have no sense of boundaries and tend to invade your life. Others include people who you know use you because they are lonely or bored, people who are more interested in the now rather than the future. These are those who are more interested in where they are going to go out drinking on the weekend then how they will work towards reaching their goals or improve their future.

The people around you should be people that actually care about your life and future. People that encourage you, respect your situation and actually compliment your family. In some ways it’s similar to the professional belief that if you want to succeed in a job you surround yourself with people that are good at what they do and can not only inspire you but motivate you to succeed. The principle is the same personally. Don’t surround yourself with those that truly are not going to be a positive influence on your life or the life of your family.

Being able to take this path may be difficult for those who lack self confidence because you are more likely to be looking for quantity rather than quality in people. But if you think about it, making the decision to do this will be a huge step towards building your self confidence as you have taken a step towards looking after what is important for your future. *