Are you an Adult or Grown-Up?

Often when we look at the people around us we see those who are in their twenties or thirties and see them very differently. Why, because there is a big difference between an Adult and a Grown Up. Ok, it sounds similar but it’s really not. This doesn’t include those who haven’t even got to grown up stage, those who are irresponsible and have no respect for others.

There is a different level of responsibility. A grown up will look after themselves. They will pay their bills, maybe have a job, tries to do the right thing and gets on with life. Generally though a grown up will really just maintain what they see as their responsibility.

However if you want to look at what an adult is, it’s so much more than a grown up. An adult not only manages their responsibilities but will help others with theirs. An adult is someone who looks at their partner and the world around them and helps. An example of this would be a volunteer firefighter or those who help out others when things are tough. That’s not to say you have to go to that level. Even in the home, an adult is someone who always after managing their own responsibilities tries to help others in the family to manage theirs.

An adult is someone who is constantly looking inward and is selfless.

This topic came up with someone recently as we were observing different people. We do see people out there who are in their twenties or older who seem responsible because they take care of their families and jobs and generally seem like good people. However it seems that is where it stops. We then realised that there was more to it then that. You see many who say they are an adult but really when you get into conversations with them seem to refer to themselves all the time as an ‘I’ am doing this, ‘I’ want etc. A real adult when talking about things will often talk about their family and talk about their life in terms of ‘We’.

We decided to put this to the test to see if happiness was affected. The mind shift between an ‘I’ thought process and a ‘We’ thought process may not seem big, but in our little test it really was amazing. When having general conversations with people we started to look at how they spoke and what they said. Although this is only based on observations we discovered that those who used the ‘We’ in their conversations naturally without thinking seemed to be much happier in their conversations. There seemed to be more depth in the conversations as well as more excitement.

Our theory was that people who talk more about ‘We’ are more likely to be people who think about others rather than ‘I’ people who seem to always be about themselves.

In saying that it did certainly appear that those who were ‘I’ people talked more about things that were superficial like they were going to buy themselves something or party. ‘We’ people talked more about things that would make a difference like, we are saving to do this or we are spending time doing some gardening. I mean they are bad examples but in the end we really do feel that if you change your thinking to a ‘we’ focus it may move you from just being a grown up to an actual adult and with that much happier.