We Are no Different - Violence

I was reading a story recently about a murder by a gay teen against a gay teen. The murderer had had an affair with the murdered young man and his defence was that he was being harassed.

Craig Roy, 19 was sentenced to life with a no parole period of 18 years. He claims that Jack Frew whom he murdered tried to blackmail him into having sex. Frew was stabbed 20 times before bleeding to death.

There are no surprises in something like this happening because it happens to straight, gay alike. I think the sentence received is too low but the issue I find is that it seems that this type of violence is perceived as surprising. My issue is that it’s not. Gay to gay violence is not uncommon it just seems like we are unwilling to recognise it. Commonly you will see it in clubs but also in relationships. We know from studies done that it is not uncommon for domestic violence in a gay relationship.

For some reason we try to segregate ourselves and pretend that all the negative issues that are out there in the world are not shared within gay life. That is so naive. I know it’s not good but it happens. We shouldn’t bury our heads in the sand and think of these events as a surprise, but rather embrace that we are no different to anyone else and have the same issues as any human. It sometimes is frustrating that in one breath we try to tell the world we are no different to everyone else and then in the next bury our heads in the sand when something happens to reinforce that we are no different.

Even from my own past experiences I have been exposed to domestic violence, alcoholism, betrayal, cheating and any number of other negatives that could happen to anyone. There are also a lot of things that I see that are possibly worse in gay life maybe brought on by not being accepted. But that’s another post. If you are gay then you know that life isn’t all rainbows being gay and not only do you have to deal with the disapproval from straights but you have to deal with the issues of life like anyone else.

I have been very very fortunate in my life to have not had a lot of harassment or ridicule but I have had plenty of issues with partners and other gay men. If you feel you are being hurt or are finding it tough remember it does get better. If you want to reach out and ask for help then do it. I believe strongly that life is beautiful. It’s tough yes, but I love life and I know that with all the tough times, so comes good ones.

Just remember that we are just like anyone else and therefore we are subject to the same positive and negative events that happen in the world.

I agree cases like this are very sad and I would love to live in a world where this sort of thing doesn’t happen but we do and we have to accept that.