Love vs Lifestyle

I was recently reading a commentary about whether when looking for a relationship people these days are getting themselves confused between finding love and finding a lifestyle. What I mean is are you looking for love or someone who shares your lifestyle?

It got me thinking and this is where I move away from the article into my own thoughts however there was a section in the article that I thought was good.

What might start off as fun “Mr or Mrs Party” can then lead to “Mr or Mrs won’t grow up”.
“Mr and Miss get on with my mates” can end up with: “They are with me for my mates.”
When you think about the love v lifestyle debate at first it can sound extremely harsh—but the reality is people are obsessed with “lifestyle” as much as they are with love.

So anyway, I did some research and found that these concepts of love vs lifestyle are not new and are certainly not isolated. In this day and age there is a lot of emphasis put on finding a partner who has the same interests. Personally I think this is dangerous because you also can end up with not growing. It’s good to have some shared interests but in the end if you and your partner are the same then neither of you will ever learn anything new, or be opened to new thoughts or challenges.

I know what I am seeing on social networks is only a snippet but you see a lot of people either getting into or out of relationships because of social reason’s. Things like “She never went out with me” or “He didn’t want to go camping”. Seriously they are real reasons.

My belief is this shows that compromise seems to be lacking in many relationships and social factors seem to be taking over. For me, I like that my partner and I have different personalities. I like the fact that we challenge each other’s routines and beliefs and that we compromise. Real compromise is important. I say real compromise because I often hear people say they compromise but when you hear the story you realise it’s only compromise because they didn’t care. This is selfish compromise. Real compromise is when you give up something or support something just because the other person is your partner and you love them.

I really like this line in the article I read:-

So you can’t love someone for the life you think you want. But you can love them for the life that you create together.

That way, it might have moments that are different because you are never going to be the same person - but it’s not based on a trend, it’s based on an ongoing story.