I heard an interesting theory today in one of the newspapers. Someone was asking whether guys were destined to screw her over. This is the response she got in part.
If you want to blame anything blame the social trend that has delivered you more freedom and more options than any generation of woman ever before you.
These days you have the freedom to work for your money and enjoy the fruits of a disposable income. Little is asked of you in return. You have few responsibilities and are free to live with a man outside of marriage and for the most part to please yourself.
The flip side of this freedom is your dreams of “settling down” are harder to attain, at least when you are young, because other young people want to spend their young years enjoying themselves, building a career, and trying out different partners. They don’t want to get married to the first man or woman they meet and settle into family responsibilities by the time they are 22. Because - quite simply - they don’t have to
So while you get to lots of benefits, including the freedom to shag who you wanted, you also lost a degree of certainty. So people meet and fall in love and fall out of love or get bored or find something better and move on. Because they can.
It made me think that it really does make a lot of sense and not just in relation to relationships. As time as gone on people have a lot more freedoms than they used to. Also we are seeing that consumer goods are getting cheaper and technology is moving so fast that there is always some new affordable gadget out there.
We talk about GenY and their selfish ways but we as a society have trained them that way. It’s like a snowball really. Unfortunately people and in particular younger people see everything as disposable, even relationships and marriage. A lot of people say and probably believe they are willing to go through the tough times but in the end their version of tough times is only as long as they don’t have to put in too much effort. I remember older people who had been married for many years, saying that they had good years and bad years in their relationships. Not weeks or months.
I do believe that in many ways people have lost that belief that a relationship is about two people joining together to take on the world. Instead it is about two people still operating everything individually and never really thinking of it as a union. Think about it. How many couples do you know who don’t even have a joint bank account.
In saying this all is not lost because there are still people out there who don't think this way. People who always put others first. People who don't expect to be treated like royalty at their first job. People who work hard and have great morals and ethics. Yes, as we continuously read it is a market that is shrinking but it still exists. The one thing I have learned is that the only time I feel fulfilled is when I am thinking of others, particularly my partner. So remember that no matter how bad things get from time to time, there are genuine good selfless people out there. Let's face it, real love is built on selflessness.