Update - Death Looms

You are so right on so many levels. I know he is working or thinking with fear but I hadn't thought that I had given him any reason to think I would do anything let alone walk.

This morning I actually found out from him that the truth is that because we have been having a bad couple of weeks he didn't think we could live together. He stated that he didn't want to lose me and still loved me and was in love with me but felt maybe we had moved in too soon. After a little prodding I discovered that it was just that we had been going through a difficult couple of weeks and I don't think he could cope any more in his head.

We agreed to try and sort it out and since it was the first time he had let me know what was really on his mind I understood better. I also let him know that he had to be honest and that if things don't go well and he wants to move I will help him move and find a place. I just don't want his answer to be run without trying to be open and honest and deal with any issues. I've always said I would work on any issues but it's difficult if you don't know what they are.

I hope that our conversation this morning was the honest because it's all I have. It hasn't been easy for either of us. I am looking for some security and he is 19 and has his own issues. The thing I really need is to know that he is committed to working through things. I would hate to think he's just buying his time.

I guess my mind works in overdrive too so I'm doing my best to slow that down. I think that one of the difficult things is he doesn't really talk to anyone. I wish he would even if it's his mother or a friend. At least if he talked things out with someone when things arise he would probably not get as wound up and would get a different perspective and perhaps some objectivity. He just seems to bottle things up and try and work through things in his own head and that's not good.