The Start

As promised I need to journal things for my own benefit. I have tagged this story 'Relationship Nightmare' and I'll set up a link to all the mosts eventually so you can read the whole thing. 

This is more of an introduction and background before I get into the messy detail and the judgement. 

I have been in my relationship for nearly 7 years and my partner turned 30 last October. We have had a relationship like most with it's ups and downs. This has included a couple of times that I have had to move out for a period of time mainly due to me not being able to emotionally cope. The reason is T has never been able to have a conversation about anything and goes through stages of just being nasty. If there was a major issue and I wanted to talk the response I have always got was "I don't want to talk about it". I have even tried leaving it hoping he would come back at a later stage but it never happened. 

What has always kept me here is the fact that I do love him and generally things have been always good. I have tried to adapt to his way in the hope that he would meet me half way. 

There are traits that I have come to accept like the fact that I am expected to read his mind or that in the entire time we have been together I have never heard him say sorry for anything to me. 

Overall though I didn't get into the relationship because I thought it would be easy and have always been a believer that you work through things. 

So anyway during December last year (2016), I was hit with a major event that shook me to the core. That soon. 

If you are going to read these posts please understand I still love T with all my heart. We live together and own a business although I don't work it day to day. Please also understand that I understand that as the story unfolds and continues I am responsible by choice for staying. I will probably get some shit for it but I accept my decisions. It's simply a matter that I want to document things for my future. 

It's Time

After a conversation with a blogger friend I want to get back to writing about my life. I have detached the associated FB page and will only write when I have a need to. I'm not sure who will read what I write but I don't really mind. What is important is that it remains here on these pages and anyone who knows me needs to keep what they read to themselves. I will get personal but I want this to be like my journal. I have been keeping a private journal and to some degree may continue. However I want to get more real about things. 

The reason behind this is that I believe that it will help me with my growth. So stay tuned and we can go from there. I have a story to tell and need to get it out so I don't bottle it up. See you soon.