Depression

This is a great article sourced from news.com.au , you should read it. Please click on the link at the bottom to go to the original source.

WRITER and comedian Ben Pobjie wrote eloquently about depression on news.com.au recently as part of our onehour|onelife campaign with Lifeline.
He urged us to stop tip-toeing around the subject of depression.
He said hopefully soon, a friend will be able to talk about their depression at the pub like they might talk about an injured knee ... because both are medical issues.
I couldn't agree and disagree more.

No doubt one of the most important things we can do to battle depression is encourage open discussion. But open discussion shouldn't mean we adopt one single, homogenised way of looking at what has become a critical public, health and social issue.
I agree we need to be able to talk with friends and family about depression. We need to hear and understand people's stories and symptoms of depression. We need to allow them to discuss what is happening to them without fear of judgment.
But I don't agree - and nor do many psychiatrists and mental health experts - that depression is just a medical problem.

For some people, viewing depression as a medical illness is helpful. It can be a blessed relief to those suffering depression to have an explanation for what is going so wrong. Being told it is a medical problem can also help lift the burden of guilt many people feel about being depressed.
But for others, the medical view of depression becomes a trap. For every person I know who has been helped by antidepressants, another feels a medical diagnosis of their condition got in the way of their recovery. The more they were told their depression was about a chemical imbalance, the less artistry and control they felt they had over their recovery.

This is not to suggest that people can just sit up and "get well". Depression isn't something people choose, and unhelpful and unsympathetic people who say friends with depression should just "harden up" or stop wallowing, simply don't understand how serious depression can be.
People who are depressed can't just snap out of it. They are, at times, extremely unwell and unable to function. They struggle to get through the most mundane tasks. Getting to the kitchen to make a cup of tea can seem insurmountable.
But when you look beyond the medical model of depression you also allow that there are other answers to depression. It enables us to look beyond antidepressants, which are helpful for some people but far less helpful for others.
Antidepressants have become the front line defense against this serious issue. This represents a significant problem for the large proportion of people who are adversely affected by their use. This is particularly true of children and adolescents.
Suggesting antidepressants are not the only answer isn't popular. People who use them feel they are being judged. So let's clear that up now. If they work for you, then bulls-eye. We couldn't hope for a better result. Be happy and proud of your choices and what has helped you out of a terrible period. If they help you manage on and off over a lifetime then that is also a great blessing.

But let's also feel free to talk about the fact that even London's Royal College of Psychiatrists admits antidepressants don't necessarily treat the cause of depression or take it away completely. They also say that without any treatment most depression will get better after about eight months.
The Australian College of Specialist Psychologists also believes the term ''mental illness'' can put people off seeking treatment. They suggest, in a paper sent to Mental Health Minister Mark Butler that depression and anxiety should be described as 'psychological disorders to prevent people being propelled into a medical model of treatment and given drugs they don't need.

The issue is not hectoring people off drugs or even onto them. It's understanding we are facing a problem of Tsunami-like proportions for our society. It is estimated that about one million Australians live with depression and as many as 100,000 young people.
We can no longer afford to look to one solution to this problem, especially when that solution has failed to deliver a long-term cure. We also need to see that when we write down depression as a purely medical problem, we can often marginalise sufferers and minimise their experience.
When we fail to ask questions about the stresses or grief in a person's life, the life events they have gone through, their early attachment and even their health and diet; when we simply say the depression has "just happened" because of a chemical imbalance, we are not assisting their recovery.
Fortunately doctors such as Melbourne psychiatrist Dr George Halasz see times changing. He points to a shift within psychiatrist circles, led by experts such as researcher Allan Schore, who are trying to merge biological and psychological models of mental illness with emotional and social development across a lifetime.

"The chemical imbalance hypothesis has run its course. The idea was originally that if you resolved the imbalance there would be less depression. But of course prescription rates are soaring and at the same time so are the rates of depression," says Dr Halasz.
"If you open up the discussion beyond the very narrow medical model, then it takes us to a new understanding of treatments and ultimately to a new paradigm."
Let's keep talking about depression, just like Ben suggested. People who are depressed need understanding and support. But let's make sure we really talk, and don't simply follow one solitary line of thinking about the causes and treatment for this terrible condition.
Kate de Brito is a news.com.au journalist and Ask Bossy blogger.
If you or someone you know may be at risk of suicide contact Lifeline 13 11 14, beyondblue 1300 22 46 36, or Salvo Care Line 1300 36 36 22.

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/features/onehour-onelife/why-treating-depression-like-other-physical-illness-is-a-mistake/story-fnd9ca2w-1226366701049#ixzz1vrUoj3Ai

Love & Life

What have I learned about love and life? 

• I have learned that love and relationships will only endure and last if both people choose for it to. This means focusing on positives which we all know are harder to focus on then the negatives. 
• Life is full of baggage. Being able to admit to it and get the help we need is the key to it not being an issue. 
• I've learned that it's amazing how many people out there actually would love to be with you but are too scared to say so. Silly. 
• There are always more people out there who love you then you realise. 
• The only person who will truly be there for you in the end is your partner. This isn't bad, it's just others have their own number 1. 
• Life is good and recognising that is important. 
• Life is hard and recognising that is important. 
• Life is about accepting the base level of normality. Once you do that everything becomes a positive thing. 
• I've learned that good communication is the most important thing in life. 
• I've learned that what I say is rarely what is heard. 
• Apologising doesn't always mean you are wrong, just that you value the person more than your pride.
• I've learned the grass is never greener on the other side. 
• Love is the most beautiful gift you can ever have.
• Life is full of ups and downs and can be for more than a day or month. Only those who accept this can be happy. 
• I've learned that I am a believer in love and in forever after. People like me are few and far between. 
• Pride and Ego will kill almost any relationship. 
• Live is an amazing gift and I am so grateful I am here. 

Life maybe throwing me a lot of curve balls at the moment and things are tough, but in the end I know the kind  of person I am, and that I'm a very loving, caring person who would give up everything for those I love. As people keep telling me, I'm a great guy and I deserve the best. I do believe that but am acutely aware that life is full of ups and downs and I never run from the bad. 

Kiss

AS and the World

Over the years I have known a lot of people both young and not so young who have had varying degrees of AS. It's great that we have seen portrayals of this on TV and in movies as it builds awareness. However the downside of that is (as with any portrayal in media of a minority group) they more often than not show the extremes or stereotypes. AS is not that simple. The range is massive and the degree of symptoms is as well. It's also full of contradictions. For example someone with AS isn't necessarily a quiet person. The stereotype says they are quiet but there are many who are very talkative. It depends on a number of factors such as how comfortable they feel in a situation and learned behaviours.

The other misconception is that they have a problem. As I said in my last post, there is a perception that they don't feel, however the truth is they feel very deeply but may have problems showing it. Still no matter what they feel they often internalise a lot of their emotions which is what leads to outbursts. There are two things to consider in this situation. Firstly that they generally have outbursts when they can't contain their frustration at not being understood. Depending on how much is going wrong for them can affect how often they have outbursts. They are not being selfish, just frustrated. The second is that generally an AS person actually blames themselves for everything. A lot of this is because they just don't understand why people don't try and understand them. This can lead to a lot of Anxiety and Depression.

Something that makes things much worse is when people around them use AS as a negative by saying things like "you are like that because of your AS", or "that's your AS". Firstly a lot of the time it's actually not, and you are just using it to hurt the person or try and justify it for yourself. If it is because of the AS then it's important that you help them understand that point and how it differs from a non-AS person. People with AS think differently because their brains are wired differently, but that doesn't make them any less of a person. People with AS still feel, as we established in my last post. They still want to be loved and they still want to be treated with respect.

As most research shows there is so many positives to someone with AS. They are highly intelligent for one. They also make extremely loyal friends and partners. A lot of people with AS are absolute with honesty so you will never have to doubt them. These are just a few but there are many more. For a lot of people out there who are close to someone with AS it can be very confronting, not just because of their honesty but because it will make you confront your own issues through the things you hear from the observations shared by the person with AS.

That's not to say there are not challenges. But any family or relationship has challenges. It's just that the challenges are different ones. The key to success is being open to not only being patient and helpful but to be open to looking within. My experience is that if you can focus on the positives of someone with AS, you will quickly see that they far outweigh the challenges compared to a non-AS situation.

Connections

I had some flashbacks recently of when I was young. I remembered unlike most with AS traits I always got a lot of my energy from physical contact with people I had an emotional connection with. I didn't like the physical unless I had an emotional connection. That may be as simple as a touch. Over the years growing up I learned that I had to be much more discerning because there is a level of appropriateness when it comes to hugs and touch in general. That learned behaviour stuck with me throughout my life and I am happy it did because it helped me learn that sometimes you have to compromise or learn things that don't necessarily come naturally. This is part of maturing and learning social skills.

The key though is that it didn't change me, just how I expressed me. Socially I am now not an overly physical person because it's socially not appropriate. Also I tend to find that I very easily take on someones energy when in physical contact. Touch is still very important to me and that is why when I am in a relationship, I am a physical person. Intimacy is extremely important because it makes me feel connected to the person I am with. Even if it is just our legs touching, a hug, kiss or any kind of skin contact. That connection for me is extremely important.

Often it feels like a more spiritual connection to me and I find it helps me deal with the stresses of life. I wish I could explain that more but because it is based on an emotional and spiritual thing, I find it very hard to articulate just what it means or is to me. One of the things I find in many parts of my life is expressing just how things affect me and impact on my being. I remember a psychologist once explaining to me because of my AS traits that if I needed someone to understand how things feel or affect me to simply multiple it out. For example say to someone "you know how you feel down or sad when we fight, multiple that by 50 and that's how it affects me" or "You know the warmth you feel when we hold each other, multiple that by 50 and that's how it feels for me". Multiplying by 50 is not an exaggeration either. It is that intense.

I am an emotional person even though I sometimes find it hard to express. Connections are very important to me, although the main difference is I don't need a lot of them. I really only need a small number of them to be completely happy. They just have to be genuine and honest.

What to Write?

I feel like writing but am not sure at the moment what to write. I have been writing in my journal which is on here for those that have a login and that is where I write things that I feel are deeply personal and not suited to the public forum. I probably know what topics I want to write about but am currently not in a position to articulate it for the public blog. So over time I will get back to some new material on here and I'm sure as I feel some motivation it will just flow.

It's important to remember that personal bloggers everywhere are human as well and go through the ups and downs of life. I am passionate about this blog and it has now been going for many years and there is no decrease in my passion for it. I will return. In the meantime if anyone would like to contact me feel free. I have always looked forward to hearing from you and even when I'm not writing I would love to hear from you. You may also inspire me to write about something lol. Stay Tuned!!!!

Suspenders

Stay Happy

The source of this article is University of Missouri http://missouri.edu/

I did not write this article but have written my thoughts at the end. I just felt it was a great article. By Janice Wood Associate News Editor Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on May 8, 2012

A researcher at the University of Missouri has developed a model to help people become happier and stay that way.

The search for happiness can be a never-ending quest, noted psychologist Dr. Kennon Sheldon.

“Previous research shows that an individual’s happiness can increase after major life changes, such as starting a new romantic relationship, but over time happiness tends to return to a previous level,” he said. “Through our research, we developed a model to help people maintain higher levels of happiness derived from beneficial changes.”

The model consists of two components: The need to keep having new and positive life-changing experiences and the need to keep appreciating what you already have and not want more too soon, he explained.

In their study, Sheldon, along with co-author Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California, Riverside, surveyed 481 people about their happiness. Six weeks later participants identified a recent positive change in their lives that had made them happier.

Six weeks after that, the psychologists evaluated whether the original happiness boost had lasted.

For some it had, but for most it had not, they reported. The psychologists then tested their model for predicting whose boost had lasted.

“The majority got used to the change that had made them happy in the first place,” Sheldon said.

“They stopped being happy because they kept wanting more and raising their standards, or because they stopped having fresh positive experiences of the change.

“For example, they stopped doing fun things with their new boyfriend and started wishing he was better-looking. A few were able to appreciate what they had and to keep having new experiences. In the long term, those people tended to maintain their boost, rather than falling back where they started.”

Due to genetics and other factors, individuals have a certain “set-point” of happiness, he said. Some people tend to be bubbly, while others are more somber. Sheldon theorizes that people can train themselves to stay at the top of their possible range of happiness.

“A therapist can help a person get from miserable to OK; our study shows how people can take themselves from good to great,” he said.

And buying stuff isn’t the path to happiness, Sheldon adds. “The problem with many purchases is that they tend to just sit there,” he said. “They don’t keep on providing varied positive experiences. Also, relying on material purchases to make us happy can lead to a faster rise in aspirations, like an addiction. Hence, many purchases tend to be only quick fixes.

“Our model suggests ways to reduce the ‘let down’ from those purchases. For example, if you renovate your house, enjoy it and have many happy experiences in the new environment, but don’t compare your new decor to the Joneses’.” The study is in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.

My Thoughts: It does seem that there is a lot of people out there who are looking for a way to stay on that high buzz and if it's not from buying stuff it's from other methods, whether it be travel, clubbing or any other number of things that creates a high. Unfortunately this isn't real life and that doesn't make real life bad. However it does seem like a form of addiction. Life isn't bad, in fact life is generally good so it's important to take that level of natural happiness and maintain that because it's impossible to maintain that high buzz over an extended period of time. Be content with the life you have and work on enjoying that. Otherwise you will end up miserable because you are constantly trying to find what is an unnatural high.

Nice!!!

Piano Love